11.26.09

for those i know in
my present and recent past
happy holiday!

can she do it?

it's the first attempt
at a vegetarian
holiday. BRING IT.

what to wear?

elastic waistbands
are sadly not an option.
you can't sink that low.

turkey haiku

bawk gobble bawk bawk
bawkidy cluck cluck bawk
BAWWWWWWK kee kee run... purr.*

*sounds for this haiku were verified by the WikiAnswer page http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_noise_does_a_turkey_make

i had an amazing dream!

I told Obama
to be mindful of gender
pronouns. I'm badass.

11.23.09

winter, part 1
stepping out my door
i hear a chorus of birds
perched on the bare limbs

winter, part 2
it's time for whiskey
fireplaces and blankets
warm whispers cold toes

winter, part 3
the only downside
to having really short hair
is icicle ears

11.20.09- Part 2

when you use your mom's computer...

rule when googling
phrases like "blonde chick blow job":
erase history!




















grosssssssssss

nothing more awkward
than realizing your mom knows
your sex fantasies

11.20.09

better than a four leaf clover

how lucky am i
to have amazing people
drowning me with love.

11.19.09

These are the very first hatekus I wrote; I was wondering where they had gone. (I found them on my i-phone.) They resound with fresh resentment and bitterness. Voila, hateku in its purest form:

you're flaky, literally
try to fall asleep
your smell is on my pillow
....so is your dandruff





















yes, i want to hurt you
you truly deserve
world's deepest papercut
rub some salt in deep

final grade: f
scale of one to ten;
your sexual aptitude?
a five. sad but true.

location, location, location
island of Lesbos
cunnilingus guaranteed
you stingy bastard

my parting gift
a delivery
flaming bad full of dog shit
not deep dish pizza.


ask and ye shall receive... sometimes
you got more haikus
than you gave me orgasms
a sad, cruel world

11.10.09

Genesis, Chapters 5,6,7

Post Garden of Eden

Adam managed to
lift his... spirits.. enough to
impregnate Eve twice
















sons Cain and Abel
God played favorites, much to
the chagrin of Cain

Cain took Abel down
in Old-Testament style
slain in a field! ouch!















God found out, of course
"you can't read my poker face"
said Cain--but God could.

Banished into the Land of Nod..

Cain's punishment was
"too great for him to bear"...so
he made babies too.

Adam's lifespan was
nine hundred thirty years?
Was he a robot?!?!

buh

... chapter five is just
old dudes having babies and
living forever.

11.06.09

Genesis, Chapters 2 and 3

adam/eve status
the verse says Eve is his "wife"
so much for free love!!

so ridiculous
that clothes weren't invented
naked... but married?

but still, life was sweet.
naked spooning in Eden
flora/fauna fun

the long story short
apple bite meant BIG trouble
forgive/forget, God?




















little known epilogue to Chapter 3

now a cherubim
guards the tree of life with a
revolving fire sword

Here ye, here ye, I proclaim the newest form of "ku".

A few new developments. First, I've realized that now I'm looking for haiku structures in anything I read. They're around more than you would think. With the teeniest tweaking, there are some wonderful albeit unintentional hate/luv/sad/sexkus in literature. Example:

from de Berniere's "señor vivo and the coca lord"

you are beautiful
Luisa, please do not cry
the future's unknown

I've also decided to do HOLYKUS, mainly because I spent:

12 years in the Church
never cracked the holy book
love those Catholics!

and also because it's too good to pass up.

The Bible is first. I'm going to start at the very beginning, and work my way through all the books. Talk about a commitment. But along the way, I'll take out all the things I don't like... (Everyone else has done it, why can't I?) Maybe I can submit my holykus to the Pope upon completion of this project? I'm sure he'd love them.

Genesis, Chapter 1

it's the beginning
and God creates heavens, earth
from formless wasteland

in the deep blackness
God says, it's dark in here, y'all
so let there be light!

and then he "made" life
metaphor: evolution!!
don't be literal

next, on to humans
God made them, forgot a rib
gave them food (NOM NOM)

and when God looked at
all that he had made, he said,
"...I guess it will do."

11.02.09

smoke and mirrors

you seemed sincere but
your verisimilitude
proved to be a ploy

NOM NOM

ow, stomach ache
i should not be eating meat
but i love gyros...

words that need inventing

my "solemnitude"
not in Merriam-Webster
exists nonetheless

REM + embering

dreaming, i feel it
your pull, still magnetizing
i wake up tired.

what, you're that busy?

an unanswered text
feels like an act of treason
all of a sudden

social work mind fuck

if i stop to think
of all the injustices
i'm too terrified